Marci Valerii MartialisEpigramma 1.109

Issa is naughtier than Catullus' sparrow.
Issa is more chaste than the kiss of a dove.
Issa is more winsome than all the girls.
Issa is dearer than precious Indian jewels.
Issa is Publius' little lap-dog.
You would think, when she growls, that she talks;
She feels sadness and joy,
She lies supported by her neck and takes her haps,
so that none of her sighs may be heard.
And motivated by the urgings of her bowels,
not one drop escapes her,
but with a gentle paw she stirs up the bedsheets
she warns one to put her down and asks to be picked up again.


In this chaste little dog there is such purity--
she does not know sexual pleasure; and we find
no husband worthy for this delicate maiden.
So that the highest light may not snatch her away whole,
Publius has commissioned a painting,
in which you will see an Issa so similar,
as to be indistinguishable from her very self.
Just put Issa next to her portrait,
and you will think it to be real
and her to be the painting.